


Coat and Tie

by pseudosmodingium



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is Dean's kink, Love Confessions, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Role Playing, Threesome - M/M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, but not really, kind of a 12x12 coda, porn with a little plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 11:41:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9895016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudosmodingium/pseuds/pseudosmodingium
Summary: What the infamous "I love you" does to Dean.Or: Dean finds someone posing as Castiel to help him act out his fantasies.





	

After his prolonged dry spell, faulted by emotional disarray, and after all those women, it was so good to feel another men’s body against his again, filling him up and providing him with facets of pleasure no woman could ever give him. His hands wandered over the muscular back, fingertips painting a map in his head of the valleys that traversed the plateaus of smooth skin. Dean’s eyes were closed. He tried his best to live in the moment and not think back to the events leading to where he was now. Castiel’s acknowledgment that he was part of their family, that he felt love toward them, toward him, was only the first of many steps. There was more between him and the angel, Dean had been aware of this for a long time but hadn’t dared to admit it, hardly even to himself. Never had Dean allowed himself to think Cas would ever spell out his love, but when he did, Dean was instantly pushed closer to wishing Cas would maybe, someday be willing to let even more prosper between them. Dean had still been far away from lowering his guards enough to return those words. Cas already knew he was family, he didn’t need to say it with actual words. The thing was, Dean’s repertoire held a variety of feelings concerning Cas. Sure, he was an honorary Winchester, the best friend he could think of, but also so much more. It took him weeks following Castiel’s near death to accept that he was, in fact, _in love with_ him. And Dean was certain Cas felt the same. When he finally found the guts to, not verbally express, but show his affection, Dean set a ball of events rolling which had him end up here.

 _Here_ was a motel room bed, on top of which Dean was currently chasing his orgasm, lying on his back and getting fucked in the ass. After both parties had reached their climax and lay quietly next to each other, the silence was interrupted by the snap of a condom being removed. The cold and empty space at Dean’s side was soon filled again, along with the mattress dipping. At last, Dean dared to open his eyes. His hand moved over a tan shoulder, reaching into strands of almost black hair. Dark eyes were gazing down at him. _Right._ Catching sight of brown irises pulled him back into reality.

“How are you feeling?” the other man asked, rolling the r.

“Like I just came,” Dean replied brusquely.

Brown eyes laughed. “No, I mean, are you up to another round later?”

“Maybe, but not like this. I’m having a long drive ahead of me tomorrow.”

“I understand,” the man said and leaned down to kiss Dean’s collarbone.

“There’s something I wanted to ask you,” he said between kisses, moving closer to Dean’s nipple and licking it, after saying, “Who is Cas?”

Dean twitched, from the tongue teasing his nipple but mainly because of the mention of Cas’s name. “What?!”

“You moaned ‘Cas’ a couple of times, so I assumed that’s someone you know. It’s not my name, at least.”

Dean hadn’t been aware of saying Cas’s name out loud. And he had absolutely no idea what this man’s name was—the man who was currently licking his way down to Dean’s navel.

“I don’t mind, if that’s what you’re thinking right now. Call me anything you want.”

“I’d rather call you by your real name,” Dean said. “Which is…” He could almost feel the wheels turning in his head. The guy had certainly told him before they’d made their way from the bar to Dean’s motel room. Brown eyes looked up from Dean’s stomach, grinning and licking his lips. “Alonso,” he provided.

“Right, yes.” That information was 100% new to Dean, he was sure of it. “I’m—”

“Dean,” Alonso said. _Brag,_ Dean thought.

Dean had to have sex with a lot of women in order to stop thinking about his feelings for Cas—or to make his rejection tolerable. He had enjoyed the sex as such, of course, but it didn’t make things better for him. So he’d had to switch to a guy with whom he could at least pretend.

“Fuck, Cas!” Dean promptly pressed a hand on his mouth. Alonso had taken his dick in his mouth and Dean hadn’t been able to prevent the angel’s name escaping him again. “Sorry.” Dean felt a flush on his face and ears but Alonso was cackling.

“You don’t have to apologize. Call me Cas as much as you want.” Dean hadn’t even realized he’d gotten hard again; was it because his mind had drifted off to Cas or the teasing of Alonso’s tongue and lips, he didn’t know.

And wow, Alonso appeared to have mastered the art of giving a blow job, because seldom had he been writhing like that from getting his cock sucked. The man was a genius! Imagining Cas’s wet hot tongue twisting along his shaft was probably fooling him into this opinion but who even cared right now. Blindly, Dean buried his fingers deep into Alonso’s hair, fisting it as he was approaching completion. “Gonna come,” he sputtered and watched, as lips and tongue were traded for a warm hand and he came all over the other man’s chest. Cas’s name echoed in his ears. He’d done it again.

Alonso rolled him swiftly onto his stomach and Dean wouldn’t have had the strength to resist even if he’d wanted to. His thighs were pressed together and Alonso thrust his still hard cock in the split between them a few times until Dean felt warmth splashing onto his legs.

Dean kept his face buried in a pillow as he heard Alonso leaving for the bathroom and turning on the water. A few minutes later he returned, lightly touched Dean’s hips and began to clean him with a damp towel.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Dean said.

“I like making people feel good,” was Alonso’s reply. “But I’d like you to tell me about this Cas person. Is it a friend of yours? An ex?” he asked while stepping into his boxer briefs.

Dean sat at the edge on the other side of the bed, facing away from him, and sighed. “He is a friend, yes.”

“But you’d like him to be more than that?” Alonso inquired.

Dean rubbed a hand over his face. “Yes.”

“Does he know how you feel?”

Dean had also begun to put his clothes back on. He stood up and pulled his jeans over his ass. “He does.”

Alonso pulled his T-shirt over his head. “Is he straight?”

Dean didn’t know how to answer that. “It’s complicated,” he just said.

Alonso yanked his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out a business card. “Call me if you want to play pretend again. I’m into role playing, you know,” he said as he handed Dean the card. Dean didn’t even look at it. “Thanks,” he said and put it into his own back pocket.

Alonso winked at him briefly before he left the room and closed the door behind him. Dean was so screwed.

 

Back at the bunker, Castiel greeted him with a cup of coffee. Dean hadn’t expected him to have returned from his own trip already. Cas had been following another lead on Kelly Kline’s whereabouts and Dean had dealt with an ordinary salt’n’burn. Sam had reluctantly stayed at home, recovering from a nasty cold.

“Thanks, Cas,” he said as he took the cup from the angel’s hands. He still couldn’t look him in the eyes. It just hurt too much. Yet, he acted like being okay with Cas’s rebuff. He was certain Cas knew he was faking it but after opening up to him there was no turning back.

“How did it go?” Cas asked.

“Good,” Dean said. “How about you? I didn’t think you’d be back home again.”

“My only lead was a rumor I’d heard on angel radio. It turned out to be false.”

If only Cas weren’t an angel. That was the major problem here. Not on Dean’s side though, he’d be perfectly fine with anything, as long as he could just be with him. Yet Cas had a different opinion on that.

They’d gotten much closer since the occurrence with Ramiel. Dean had gained more courage with every day passing and then, finally, they’d found themselves in Dean’s room, sitting on his bed and Dean had been certain it was his cue to act. A now or never situation.

They’d been sitting next to each other, thighs touching, talking in low voices and Dean had almost been able to feel Cas’s lips on his cheek as he’d been speaking. Dean had become tired of holding back, so he’d tilted his head to the side and moved in. Their lips had touched only very briefly and lightly before Cas had turned away.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” he’d said.

“Why, Cas? I thought you wanted it too.” Dean hadn’t been able to comprehend.

“Under different circumstances I would.” Dean had felt tears stinging in his eyes. “When I was human the only thing I desired was this—kissing you, sharing a bed with you, being with you as more than friends. And you pushed me away. I know you had your reasons but I think I never got over that wrenching disappointment.” Cas had balled his hands into fists. “Angels and humans can’t be together, not like this, and you know that.”

“Since when do you care about what angels are supposed to do and what not?” Anger had blended into Dean’s tone.

“I admit that I’ve broken almost every one of Heaven’s rules but this one is the most sacred of all. I’m grateful you let me be a part of your family, that you gave me a home when I didn’t have one and I want you to know I’d still die for you and Sam and Mary. However, this is beyond the things I’m capable of.” Cas had placed a hand between Dean’s shoulder blades to comfort him but Dean had furiously thrust it away. Then Cas had left. Not the bunker, nor their family, just Dean’s room. Things hadn’t been the same between them after their conversation. Dean had maniacally jumped from one one-night stand to another, different women in every town they entered on hunts but Dean kept feeling like shit.

Cas, on the other hand, was acting like nothing had ever happened; like Dean had never put all his cards on the table. He was doing his best to maintain the status quo. And that was what irritated Dean the most.

Dean spent most of his free time in his room, door closed. He didn’t talk to Cas that much anymore and he hated it. Not only was he heartbroken, he also missed his friend. He had tried to continue like before but the pain in his chest he had to endure every time he saw Cas was too much to bear, too much to pretend. Sometimes he wished he’d never crossed this particular line.

Sam was unaware of what had occurred between them but had recognized the change in their demeanor when they were around each other, but neither was willing to tell him what was going on. And Mary seemed to be completely oblivious to their situation. She didn’t know them that well after all.

 

Dean was sitting on his bed when he spotted a piece of paper on the ground. He picked it up and read ‘Pharmaceutical Sales Representative,’ then he saw Alonso’s name. He couldn’t actually do it, could he?

He saved the number from the card in his phone and typed out a text message.

_You’re getting around a lot?_

Only a few seconds later he received a reply _. If I’d be in your area, would you like to meet up?_

As it turned out, Alonso wasn’t exactly in his area, but a four hour drive away. Dean agreed to meet him anyway.

“I’m off,” he told Sam, who was studying a book in the war room.

“Where are you going?”

“Date,” he just said and chose not to hear what Sam was calling after him.

The best thing about this was probably not that he was hooking up with a hot guy again who didn’t mind being accidentally called Cas but that he could get away from said angel for a while. Sam would probably be mad at him for spontaneously taking off like this and neglecting his job, yet he didn’t care at all. He deserved this—he needed this to not end up crying in a corner.

When he reached the motel where they had agreed to meet, he got an idea which was probably stupid but he would try it anyway. He collected a tie from their FBI suits in the trunk and headed for Alonso’s room.

“Hey,” the man greeted him as he let him in. “Wanna drink something first?” They each emptied a tiny flask from the minibar first before Alonso pressed his lips on Dean’s and they started to undress each other.

“Is something on your mind, Dean?” he asked, noticing how Dean was constantly glancing over to his jacket.

“I…” He was blushing and he hated it. This wouldn’t have been the first time he’d done something kinky. He went over to the chair the jacket was hanging from and collected the tie from a pocket. It was marine blue, just like the one Cas used to have. “Could…could you wear this during…” Alonso had stepped forward, taken the tie from Dean’s hand before he could even finish stammering his request and expertly knotted the blue fabric around his neck. “What? I have to wear ties for my job,” he explained.

Dean reached forward, one hand on the back of Alonso’s head, the other on the tie and kissed him. With his eyes closed he imagined it being Cas’s lips on his, Cas’s tongue in his mouth. Those were the angel’s hands that touched him in all the right places. When they’d made out for a while, Alonso took the tie off. Dean wanted to say something but then he was blindfolded with the piece of cotton. “Talk to me, Dean,” Alsonso said as he was moving further down on the bed. “Imagine I’m Cas. Tell me what you like about me.” Dean shivered when Alonso…Cas began nosing at his cock. His knees were pushed up to his chest and soft kisses were placed on the inside of his thighs.

“I…I li—I love how you’re always there for me. How you won’t ever let anything bad happen to me. I love how much you care about all of us.” Tears had already begun to soak the tie. Slick fingers were entering him carefully. “I love how you gave everything up for me although I never asked you to do so.” He heard the rustling of a condom wrapper. “I love the look on your face when you’re getting all pissy about something I’ve said or done, how you bicker right back at me when I’m being sarcastic.” Cas’s cock pushed into him, slowly. Dean grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forward to kiss him. Cas’s mouth was wet and warm and he was breathing right into his as he started moving. “Cas,” he said and held him tight as the angel kept thrusting into him. The tears on his face had cooled and were drying. He felt sweat on his eyelids and temples under the tie. “Cas, please.” He was getting close and Cas fucked him even faster and harder until his breathing stilled for a moment and he came between their stomachs, Cas tumbling over the edge right behind him. They just lay there for a minute or two, catching their breath, before Cas slid out of him. He heard movement in the room, then water running and the cooling mess on his stomach was wiped off with a warm towel. A warm body was lying down at his side and Dean grasped it was time to take off the blindfold. “I don’t want it to end,” he said and gentle fingers brushed over his chest. A hand cupped his cheek and turned his head to the side, before the tie was slowly pushed over his head. It was too bright in the room and it took him some time before he could finally open his eyes. The man next to him was not Cas and he’d known it all along.

“He seems to be a really great guy,” Alonso said.

“He is.”

 

For their next encounter Alonso had told him to bring whatever might support him in imagining Cas. Dean thought it was weird that Alonso was willing to play a role for him but also appreciated it very much. He knew it was sick and it would only make things worse for him, but he was already fantasizing about Cas all day long anyway and this helped to get the angel out of his system for a while at least. Therefore Dean stopped at a mall on his way to Alonso and bought a trench coat. Not like the one the angel wore nowadays but like the old coat that had made him look like a superhero with his cape from afar.

“You’re in love with Columbo?” Alonso asked when Dean handed him the coat.

“He wears such a thing all the time. Don’t ask me why. He’s a little weird.” Alonso, who was already dressed in nothing but his underwear, put on the coat without asking any more questions. “You need the tie again?” he said instead. Dean shook his head.

“Would it be okay for you if I… I wouldn’t see your face if I—”

“You want to take me from behind,” Alonso helped him complete the question.

“If that wouldn’t be a problem for you…”

“None at all,” he said and briefly pecked Dean’s lips, then he got onto the bed on all fours, coat hanging from his back like a tablecloth. Dean stood behind him. Body covered in tan textile and only dark hair visible…this could easily have been Cas—Dean didn’t need much to imagine that. He kneeled at the end of the bed and lifted the coat over Cas’s ass. He rubbed his hands up and down his thighs a couple of times before he pulled down his boxer briefs. Dean placed soft kisses on both ass cheeks, then all the way down between Cas’s legs. His hand moved up along one thigh to touch his balls, lightly at first, then more firmly, massaging them. Cas hummed in relaxation. Dean’s hand reached further up and his fingers wrapped around Castiel’s dick. It wasn’t really hard yet but it slowly grew in his hand as Dean gave it a few squeezes. When Dean was satisfied with the hardness, he withdrew his hand and reached for the bottle of lube next to him. He fingered Cas’s hole until it was stretched and slick enough, then he rolled a condom over his own cock and pushed into the tight and hot space. Cas groaned and so did Dean. “You feel so good, Cas. So good.” Dean held onto Cas’s waist which was still covered by the coat as he thrust into him at a steady pace. He reached around and grabbed Cas’s dick again, tightly this time, and jerked him off in rhythm with his thrusts. Dean left himself fall forward, so that he was chest to back with Cas while fucking into him and working his dick. Both of them were moaning and panting heavily and Dean graciously ignored that the coat in his face smelled nothing like Cas but fresh out of retail.

Cas came hard all over Dean’s hand and the sheets. Feeling Cas’s hot come dropping off his hand made him orgasm too, moaning “Ca-as” as he spilled into the condom. Cas toppled onto the bed, Dean falling down with him.

“That was awesome,” Alonso said, still trying to catch his breath.

Dean looked at him, suddenly realizing what he missed the most. “Your eyes,” he said. “They’re the wrong color.”

“What color should they be?” Alonso asked.

“Cas’s eyes are blue. Like, actual sky blue…you just wanna let yourself drown in them.”

“I could do something about that next time,” Alonso said before kissing Dean, as himself this time.

 

Dean had been sneaking off suspiciously often lately. Sometimes he stayed away until the next day. Neither he, nor Sam or Mary knew where he was going. Of course, Dean was entitled to privacy but Cas was worried about him. Especially after he’d told him that they couldn’t be together like Dean had hoped. Had he known he wasn’t going to die, he had probably never said the words ‘I love you’ out loud. They could easily be misinterpreted. Dean didn’t misinterpret them though, not their meaning in itself, but he took for granted what they implied further—that he and Cas could be lovers. Dean was right in pointing out that he hadn’t obeyed Heaven’s rules in a long time. He didn’t even know himself why he was so determined to not give into his desires in this particular concern. Cas assumed he was just too afraid—to be hurt again, to lose Dean. And he was going to lose him one day. Even the Winchesters had to die eventually; they couldn’t live forever, no matter how many pacts they made with demons, reapers or whatever other creature they might find to help them.

Cas had also considered giving up his grace and becoming human again, permanently this time. However, at times like these, with Satan’s child on the way and the British Men of Letters still posing as more of a threat than allies, it was certainly unwise to willingly surrender his power. And as long as he had the Winchesters in his care, this would not change, as they were attracting trouble like magnets.

Also he feared that Dean could come to the conclusion a human version of him would be useless and, family or not, disown him sooner or later.

Whatever scenario Cas came up with, it ended with him losing Dean and he wasn’t strong enough for this.

The next time Dean was leaving the bunker without any explanation, Cas chose to follow him. They drove for two hours until Dean parked his car at a motel. Cas watched him from across the road as he entered one of the rooms. He didn’t wait long until he got out of his car and magically unlocked the motel room door. Dean was sitting at the end of the bed, another man straddling him, both in their underwear. They had been kissing before the door had swung open and after a brief moment of shock, Dean was glaring at him. The other man turned his head so he could see Cas too. There was something wrong with his eyes; Cas could see right through the colored contact lenses. No-one had spoken a word so far.

Dean made the man face him again and continued kissing him, not without watching Cas from the corner of his eye. If he was trying to make him jealous, well, he absolutely succeeded in this. He let his pupils radiate a spark of blue so Dean could be certain about his temper.

“Dean,” Cas said earnestly. “Who is this?”

The man stopped kissing Dean and whispered something in his ear. Cas could have easily heard him but was in too much rage to listen in. “This is Alonso,” Dean said then. Alonso got up from Dean’s lap and said, “You must be Cas. Dean’s told me a lot about you.” He came closer. “Let me take you coat,” he said and began to pull the garment off of him.

Dean had also stood up and was now facing him. His fingers playing with his tie and Cas’s heart dropped into his stomach as Dean looked up into his eyes which he had been avoiding for weeks. Now they were so unbelievably close.

Dean pushed Cas’s suit jacket over his shoulders and Alonso was pulling it off his arms behind him. Dean’s lips were almost touching his and this time he couldn’t bear to resist. He closed the short distance and kissed him with everything he had. Then Dean pulled back, removed his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt while Alonso took off his shoes. Cas had no idea what was currently going on but let it happen anyway.

When the shirt was gone, Dean opened his pants and Alonso pulled them down. All three of them had only their underwear left on them now. They were standing in a small circle, Dean holding hands with Cas and Alonso. He kissed Alonso first, then Cas, then Alonso kissed a completely perplexed Cas.

Alonso guided Dean to the bed and said, “Lie down on your stomach,” and Dean followed the request. He pulled off Dean’s boxer briefs and discarded them at the end of the bed. “Come, Cas. Help me,” he told the angel who was still watching from a distance, standing there completely frozen. Cas did as he was told and sat on the mattress on Dean’s other side. Alonso picked up a bottle from the nightstand which Cas assumed was lubricant. He took Cas’s hand and squeezed a bit of the colorless substance on his fingers, then on his own. Alonso briefly glanced into Cas’s eyes, before he gently pushed a slick finger into Dean’s anus. Dean released a heavy breath as he relaxed into the touch. Alonso moved his finger up and down a few times, then he told Cas, “Now you,” and Cas let a finger slide inside Dean, along with Alonso’s being already there. They moved together, free fingers intertwined, and Dean moaned loudly into the pillow, then Cas boldly inserted another one. Dean’s ass was eagerly pushing back every time they thrust into him and Cas got visibly hard in his underwear, as well as Alonso.

 

Both men removed their fingers and Dean was impatiently waiting to be filled up again. Alonso had taken the lead and Dean was grateful for that. He signaled him to sit up and simultaneously ushered Cas to lie down on his back. He kissed Dean, languidly, then made him straddle Cas and lean forward. He couldn’t help but grind his dick against Cas’s own hard cock, causing both to gasp from pleasure.

“Wait. This will help,” Alonso said and let a slick hand glide over both Dean and Cas’s lengths. Then he picked up a condom from the nightstand, rolled it in his cock and positioned himself behind Dean. Alonso steadied Dean with a hand on his hip as he entered him and Dean pressed his forehead in the nape of Cas’s neck until he was seated.

For a moment Dean thought he was going to burst. His torso was pressed against Cas’s, their hard cocks touching and Alonso filling him up. He opened his eyes and saw Castiel’s face; his actual face, his blue eyes. Yes, he was really here and Dean didn’t have to pretend anymore. He kissed the angel and Alonso began to pull back, before thrusting into him again, the jerking movement forward making Dean’s dick slide over Cas’s.

Dean tried to keep up kissing Cas but soon it was rather panting into his mouth than actual kisses. Alonso slowed down a little and Dean turned his head as good as he could to kiss him too, then Dean rested his head on Cas’s shoulder and watched as Alonso kissed Cas, letting his tongue glide in the angel’s mouth and the sight of this was just so hot. Dean had to increase the pace again, pushed his cocked down firmly onto Cas’s every time Alonso pulled back.

All three men were breathing heavily, moaning and sighing, the mattress was creaking under their weight. Dean was the first to come, then Cas provided his part to the hot mess between their stomachs and at last Alonso let go too.

Alonso pulled out of Dean and dropped on the bed next to them. Dean remained atop Cas for a while, completely motionless. Cas brushed a hand through his hair, then over his back. Dean propped himself up on one elbow so he could look into his eyes.

“I’m sorry Dean, for what I said… I was just too afraid to lose you,” he said.

“It’s okay. You’re here now and that’s all that matters,” Dean told him before leaning down and pressing his mouth against his.

Alonso stepped into his boxer briefs and pants after removing the condom, then he collected his T-shirt from the floor. “I’m gonna leave you two alone,” he said.

Dean turned around. “You don’t have to go,” he said.

“You have what you wanted now, right?” Alonso smiled at him.

“Thank you, Alonso,” Dean told him, “for everything.”

“Yes, thank you,” Cas agreed.

“I’m happy I could help,” Alonso said and kissed both of them before he went up to the door. “Call me if you need me again.”

“We will,” Dean said and Alonso left. Dean turned to face the angel again. “I love you,” he said. “In every sense of the word.”

“I love you too, Dean. This time I mean it…in every sense of the word.” They kissed for a while, lazily, until Dean thought it was time for Cas to fill his already slightly sore ass. Cas might not have had Alonso’s experience, but he was the real deal, wherefore the whole experience was so much better.

**Author's Note:**

> ...and they lived happily ever after ;-)


End file.
